First Impressions...or what I learn from my kids.

During the first few weeks of school, Jane wrote a funny little essay while in study hall about the study hall teacher. He was very intimidating to her and to all the other students. She wrote about how even the "floor trembled from fear" as he walked around the room. She wasn't totally comfortable with what she wrote because it was very unflattering to Mr. Study Hall but we thought it was very funny and a light-hearted way for her to deal with the stress she was facing. Recently she came home after an interaction with him and said, "Mom, he's actually pretty nice." She gave him a chance, got to know him better and realized her first impressions weren't altogether accurate.

Anna has had one teacher who has been particularly difficult for her. He often singles her out in class, asks her twice as many questions as the other students and teases her when she makes mistakes. Recently he scolded her for not having the right plastic cover on her notebook. He never does any of these things in private. It's always in front of the rest of the class. Recently, Anna came home and said, "Mom, I think he "thinks" he's being funny and including me. I think it's his way of making me feel a part of things. What he doesn't realize is that it doesn't work. It just makes me feel bad."

It would be so easy for them to want to give up or write off these teachers as mean, insensitive, etc. but instead, the message I'm getting from them is something like, "Mom, I know they're trying, even if it doesn't seem like it to me sometimes."

What a great lesson for me. Take a deep breath, give people a chance, give people another chance, and another and assume that the vast majority of people in the world are good, decent people who may or may not always know how to express that in ways we understand.